thoughtnot

Pickin’ and Grinnin’ was the name of one of the first record albums I ever owned. It was a 33rpm and had a black dust cover with a picture of a guitar resting in some soybeans. It was a compilation album that had been produced for the Soybean Growers Association or something like that, which would probably explain that photographic novelty.

To be honest, I don’t know where this album came from. That is to say, I know it came from my Grandparents, but I’m not sure where THEY got it. Probably at a Farm Bureau convention or something. Maybe it was one of those infamous door prizes.

Anyhow, this album somehow came to me around the time I was 8 or 10… It’s hard to say whether it was because I liked it, or they thought I would like it. But the fact was, I DID like it. I recall it had a song on it by Johnny Cash called “Look at them Beans”, and another song by Tom T. Hall named “I Like Beer”. I think there were songs by Marty Robbins and Johnny Paycheck on there too (obviously it was a country album). I don’t remember now many of the other songs or artists, and I certainly don’t know why the aforementioned stand out over time as the songs I recall most.

But this album had another impact beyond the opening my horizons to guys named Johnny. Specifically, it made me want to learn how to play guitar (or is it THE guitar?).

Of course, WANTING to play the guitar and HAVING a guitar to play are two different things. I didn’t have a guitar, and I didn’t know anyone that had one who could teach me. I may have put it on my Christmas list a time or two, but like the horse I always asked for, it never arrived. Apparently my parents and Santa were conspiring to keep me in the suburbs.

Time passed and I eventually got a saxaphone, played in the band, and life went on. However, around the time of my junior year in high school, I came into ownership of a 1950’s “parlor guitar” that had belonged to my uncle. It was undersized and not very sexy. Definitely not something you tote to the college dorm to impress the girls. So home it stayed, under the bed.

Flash forward to about 3 years ago. I finally decided I was going to learn how to play the thing. I got a book and started trying to figure out the chord fingerings. I even had someone try to show me a few things. I was just getting to the point where I was picking up tabs when… BINK!

(That’s the sound a guitar string makes when it breaks.)

An ensuing trip to the music store gave me the news: this thing isn’t worth new strings. “The neck is cracked and would need major repair”, reported the sales guy. “HOWEVER, we’ll be happy to give you $50 toward a trade-in on a new guitar…”

Funny thing is, to this day I still think I probably got screwed. At the time I was surrounded by shiny new guitars and, as Jimmy Carter once said, I was lusting in my heart. Instead of going home and doing my homework to find out what I had, I quickly traded it in and walked home with a new Dean guitar (but no case… the scoundrels). Granted, the guitar they sold me is great quality for the money I spent. I’m not dis-satisfied with what I bought. But I do wonder sometimes if I had something that was worth more than what I got in return.

As I’ve noted before, time is a funny thing and learning the guitar was taking more than I had to give at the time. I’m also a notorious “hobby-jumper”, and was soon side-tracked by other things. The fact that I did not have a case meant I had to keep the guitar in its box, which meant under the bed. Out of sight, out of mind. It was becoming the pariah my wife would channel anytime she wanted to curb my zeal to purchase something I didn’t need.

Until now… I recently bought a case, and FINALLY I am taking guitar lessons. I decided to take group lessons first. Tonight is lesson #2, and I already know three things: First, tuning a guitar is hard! I broke a string on my first try. In my short guitar-playing history, I have now burned through 2 sets of strings, and no songs. Second, I really DO want to learn how to play this thing. It really is a great sounding instrument, and relaxing to play. And finally… I suck.

In my first lesson, we learned the major chords and were sent home to practice the week away. Everyone else knew at least A and D before we left, but not me. The old brain and fingers were having a pissing contest, apparently, and were refusing to work together. I finally got them to work together the other night — the only night I had time to actually practice — but who knows if it’ll last. So now I’m already behind, and barely know two chords. What a great start!

I’ll keep you posted, but don’t count on me playing “Look at them Beans” any time soon.