thoughtnot

As a father, there are sometimes questions you get from the kids for which you have no answer. There’s nothing wrong with not knowing, but sometimes it’s fun to make up an answer on the fly. “Why is the sky blue?” Because it’s reflecting water, of course… “Why can’t we fly?” Well, we were able to before we lost our feathers… “Where do babies come from?” When it comes up, I plan to say “Wal-mart” ( though one can’t go wrong with the old “Stork” story, either).

But sometimes the question is more serious, and catches you off gaurd. When your child poses a philosophical or religious question, how do you answer? You want/need to give an answer that satisfies their curiosity, without scaring them or making them feel insignificant.

That was the case for me on none other than Father’s Day. At the end of a great day, I was tucking my son into bed and was laying next to him, tickling and talking like we often do. That’s when we had the following exchange:

Him: “Dad?”
Me: “Yes?”
Him: “Can we live forever?”
Me: “Ummm… that’s a really big question…”
Him: ”I hope I’m really old when I die, and not young… I want to live a long time.”
Me: “I want you to live a long time and grow old, too…”
Him: “Maybe I’ll even live longer than you and mommy.”
Me: “I hope that’s the case…”
Him: “So can I live forever?” (and I thought I’d side-tracked him)
Me: “Well… your body can’t live forever, but your soul can. God promised that if we believe in Him, we can live forever with him in Heaven.”
Him: “So I won’t have my body?”
Me: “Not after you die, but that’s just your body, not your soul.” (*thinking*… please don’t ask me what the soul is!)
Him: “So I’ll be able to talk to people?”
Me: “I think so, but I don’t know… But I hope so.”
Him: “So what’s it like in Heaven?”
Me: “I have no idea… I’ve never been there. But you’ll live there with God, and I imagine it’s a nice place.”

And that was pretty much the end of the conversation. Such a big question for a 5-year-old, and one that really caught me off guard. I think the answer I gave was good… at least it seemed to satisfy his curiosity. But in those moments, you realize you don’t really have all the answers this kid is seeking, and only hope you can lead them in the right direction. We are essentially a steering wheel, but it’s manual steering. The answers don’t come easy, and there will be tough questions and bumps in the road.

Looking to turn the tables, I figured I’d ask him a tough question, too. So last night before bed, I questioned him:

Me: “If I have 4 down linemen - 2 tackles and 2 guards - one middle linebacker, and two outside linebackers, what defense do I have?”
Him: “A 4-3!!”
Me: “And if you have 5 linemen - 2 tackles, 2 guards, and a linebacker on the line - and drop two linebackers, what defense do you have?
Him: “A 5-2!!”

I’m so proud… =)