Hoop Dreams
Posted by mike on December 22nd, 2009
Recently, T-bone and I agreed to play in a church basketball league. T-bone — aka “Mr. Basketball” — ended up poofing out after 3 games with host of issues I can’t divulge due to HIPAA regulations. LOL! That left me to play on my own with the rest of the team.
Now, I’ll be up-front on this… I have absolutely ZERO basketball skills. In fact, they are so poor that on most days I can’t even spell baksetball. I dribble off my feet. I don’t see passes coming. I try to pass, but the ball moves in slow motion when I let go of it. I try to get in low and post up, but get called for 3-second violations. So I move around, which has all the effectiveness of a dog sniffing for a place to pee. I might eventually find someplace to set up, but mostly I’m just sniffing. I try to get in for rebounds, but inevitably there’s some 6′5″ dude with 4′ arms in my way. I have a 3″ vertical jump, so most rebounds just bounce over my head.
But I run… and I do my best. So far I’m averaging about 4pts per game, a few rebounds, maybe an assist or two, and 2 fouls. I should have more fouls, but what the heck… I’m not trying to hurt anyone, especially me! Unfortunately, what I’ve found is most of the guys in my league should be calling me “dad”. Ok, not really, but they ARE mostly like 15 years younger than me!
Last night Emily and the kids came to watch… and I hit my first 3 pointer! YES!! Except the kids didn’t see it. My daughter didn’t believe my wife when she said daddy had hit a basket. My biggest fans don’t even believe it when I hit a shot! LOL!
Rodney Dangerfield had nothing on this. I wonder if they have a church shuffleboard league?
December 23rd, 2009 at 7:56 pm
Mike….This may be your best piece yet!!!!