I was looking for something online last night and found this site with some amazing pictures of balloons (get your mind out of the gutter!)! I’ve seen clowns tie some pretty nifty balloon animals before, but these are flat out incredible. Perhaps a useless talent, but amusing nevertheless.

Every now and then, I see a story that really just ticks me off. This is one of those stories. All businesses have rules and guarantees. Sometimes things don’t work out. If the business tries to make good, the person should just relax and roll with it. It didn’t even cost him anything! I know we don’t know the whole story, but I hope someone teaches this “judge” a lesson in civility. In fact, I think he should be disbarred.

It does, however, remind me of another little story:

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Ok… so you got an email today, passed along from your wife’s Aunt’s cousin’s brother. You know it originated from Bill Gates and Walt Disney, Jr., because you can see their email addresses on the original message. And since the person who passed it to you is someone you trust, then surely this must be for real! So why not pass it along? After all, they wouldn’t just say that they are working on an email tracking system with AOL if it weren’t true, right? They could get sued for that!!

Well, maybe you’re a skeptic. You know, you’ve passed those along before and you never did get your free copy of Windows Me, the all-expenses-paid trip to Disney, or free Internet access for a year. So you’re not going to pass it along just yet. BUT… this picture of the dog that’s as big as a horse MUST be real! The camera can’t lie like that!! Besides, it came from your middle-school girlfriend’s sister!

Before you click “forward” and send it to everyone in your address book, read this article about the The Top 25 Web Hoaxes and Pranks. It’s interesting, informative, and funny when you think about it. Have fun!

Oh, and I’ll be passing along that email about the moon landing soon… they can’t fool me!!

I always get a kick out of reading the local crime reports. I wouldn’t say they make me feel superior, but there is something about them that just makes me feel as if my place on the food chain isn’t the bottom. I suppose it does lend to some cynicism on my part with regard to the overall human condition, but hey… this is funny stuff! Seriously! We watch t.v. and say “that would never happen”, but amazingly it does. For example, the following events took place in Southern Indiana over the past few months.

See if you can get through without a chuckle:

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A long time ago, I posted some “imponderables”… things that are defined as “difficult or impossible to evaluate with precision”. While the original list was pretty extensive, I have run across some more that are just as perplexing and funny (again, these were not written by me)…

• Can you cry under water?
• How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
• Why do you have to “put your two cents worth in”.. but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going to?
• Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
• What disease did cured ham actually have?
• How is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
• Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?
• If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
• If you take a double-blind survey at a school for the vision impaired, what is it called?
• Why are some actors “IN” a movie, but others are “ON” TV?
• Why do people pay money to go up in tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look down at things on the ground?
• Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural?
• Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s, um, you know…?
• Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Call me a chauvinist, but in the world of men, there are unwritten rules that must be followed. For some reason, however, many guys seem to have lost touch with these rules. Perhaps for the reclusiveness of our fathers (or the lack of having a father), they are not being passed down. Therefore, I thought it would be fun to summarize some of them here. A few of them are long-standing, and a few I have made up. There are of course many more than I’ve listed, but this should be a good primer.

Pass these on…

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These are all worth thinking about… (these were received via email, not written by me).

• Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out”?
• Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?
• Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
• If Jimmy crackes corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
• Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
• If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can makea radio out of coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
• Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
• Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
• Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!
• What do you call male ballerinas?
• Why ARE Trix only for kids?
• If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?
• Why is a person that handles your money called a ‘Broker’?
• If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
• If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
• If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?
• Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
• If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
• Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
• Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
• Why did you just sing both of the above songs?